The Cipher

Happy Valentine's Day

2008-02-14T16:17:31Z

To all the lovely ladies of LJ, have a great day

qpsiphi1911 @ 2006-10-11T14:03:00

2006-10-11T19:09:05Z

All my dad's tests were negative so no cancer! He wasn't really showing it but I know he was pretty nervous about the whole thing. Mom too.

Have you ever hoped you ran into a girl and her boyfriend just so you could call them both bitches to their face? I have.

Good day to all.

qpsiphi1911 @ 2006-08-11T13:43:00

2006-08-11T18:43:59Z

You all know the drill. Fill it out bitches.

1. Name:
2. Age/Birthday:
3. Single or Taken:
4. Favorite Movie:
5. Favorite Song:
6. Favorite Band/Rapper/Artist:
7. Favorite Book/Comic Book:
8. Tattoos and/or Piercings:
9. Favorite TV Show:
10. Favorite Video Game/Board Game:
11. Do we know each other outside of Livejournal?:
12. Would you give me a kidney?:
13. Tell me one odd/interesting fact about you:
14. If you could change anything about your current life, would you?:
15. Will you post this so I can fill it out for you?:

qpsiphi1911 @ 2006-07-26T09:56:00

2006-07-26T14:56:47Z

Your Personality Profile

You are elegant, withdrawn, and brilliant.
Your mind is a weapon, able to solve any puzzle.
You are also great at poking holes in arguments and common beliefs.

For you, comfort and calm are very important.
You tend to thrive on your own and shrug off most affection.
You prefer to protect your emotions and stay strong.

The World's Shortest Personality Test

qpsiphi1911 @ 2006-03-15T09:11:00

2006-03-15T15:15:21Z

It feels so good to be liberated... free of the shackles of structured education.

qpsiphi1911 @ 2006-03-08T08:34:00

2006-03-08T14:39:44Z

To whoever decided to turn my bedroom into their own personal hotel room, FUCK YOU. I hope you get run over by a bus. Fucking assholes. Respect other people's shit.
From now on, if you don't live at 134, don't even bother walking up the stairs unless I invited you. If you have to use the bathroom, I don't give a shit. Either hold it or go outside.

qpsiphi1911 @ 2006-03-01T08:39:00

2006-03-01T14:40:45Z

Rest in Peace R.C.T.

qpsiphi1911 @ 2006-02-16T07:05:00

2006-02-16T13:08:52Z

Certain events in life are wake-up calls. Breaking a chair is one such event.

P.S. Anybody who works from home SUCKS.

qpsiphi1911 @ 2006-02-03T11:05:00

2006-02-03T17:06:31Z

WHITES are motivated by PEACE, seek independence

and require kindness. They resist

confrontation at all costs. (Feeling good is

more important than being good.) They are

typically quiet by nature, they process

things very deeply and objectively, and they

are by far the best listeners of all the

colors. They respect people who are kind, but

recoil from perceived hostility or verbal

battle.

WHITES need their quiet independence and refuse to

be controlled by others. WHITES want to do

things their own way, in their own time. They

ask little of others, and resent others

demanding much of them. WHITES are much

stronger than people think because they dont

reveal their feelings. WHITES are kind,

non-discriminate, patient and can be

indecisive, timid, and silently stubborn.

When you deal with a WHITE, be kind, accept

(and support) their individuality, and look

for nonverbal clues to their feelings.

What Color Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

Guys' Code

2006-01-17T16:43:17Z

Today's Lesson: Bros Before Hoes

Settle down ladies.. this isn't to say that all girls are hoes. It just sounds good I guess. Besides, I didn't make it up.
Some consider this to be the Golden Rule when it comes to male relationships. This rule cannot be stressed enough. Basically, this rule states that girls come and go but your boys are your boys. You NEVER allow some random chick to come between you and your boys. You NEVER alienate your boys in favor of some chick. NEVER. There are only two exceptions to this rule:

1) Wife or SERIOUS girlfriend
2) There must be a STRONG pre-existing relationship. In other words, she better have been on your team a LONG time and been through a LOT more with you than your boys.

Breaking this rule is the ultimate slap-in-the-face to your friends. In a less civilized society this would be punishable by castration (since you don't deserve to have a penis if you break this rule).

More tomorrow and a pleasant day to you all.

The Guys' Code

2006-01-13T15:32:34Z

Today’s Lesson: Loose Lips Sink Ships

If your friend is involved in lying, cheating, scheming, or any other nefarious activity, you didn’t SEE shit, you didn’t HEAR shit, you don’t KNOW shit. This is especially true when dealing with girlfriends, parents, and law enforcement types. The exceptions to this rule are as follows:

A) Blood is Thicker than Water
If your friend has been gracious enough to grant you a waiver on this rule and you shit on his sister/cousin/niece, said friend is well within his rights in busting you, kicking your ass, or both. All activities engaged in during bachelor parties are exempt from this rule.

B) Life and Death Situations
If your friend has a problem with drug dependency (no, marijuana doesn’t count), a disease, or other potentially catastrophic events, this rule may be waived. Use your judgment.

C) The Long Arm of the Law
Pay close attention to this exception. This DOES NOT give you permission to give up your friend to law enforcement. Any illegal activities you participated in, you did so knowingly. If you have to eat a charge, you eat it. If they can’t physically put your friend in the area, as far as you know he wasn’t there. It’s not what they know. It’s what they can prove.
This exception applies to situations where you face incarceration (or other punishment) for something you didn’t do. A good friend would never put you in this position, so ideally this situation won’t ever occur. Be smart!! Don’t lie just to lie. Don’t say you don’t know a person that you’re seen with on a regular basis. You can admit to knowing them but that is all. After that, the rule applies. You didn’t SEE shit, you didn’t HEAR shit, and you don’t KNOW shit.

The “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” Corollary
Plausible deniability is a good thing. You can’t tell what you don’t know. And as our good friend George Costanza so eloquently stated, “It’s not a lie, if you believe it”.

In extreme cases, violation of this rule is punishable by execution.

The Guys' Code

2006-01-12T14:59:50Z

Today's Lesson: The Untouchables

Let's face it guys. I love the ladies.. you love the ladies.. we all love the ladies. However, there are certain ladies who are simply off limits. It doesn't matter how fine they are, you just can't go there.

1) Blood is Thicker than Water (see yesterday's lesson)

2) Your friend's wife, girlfriend, or baby's momma (and no it doesn't matter if they're not together.. there's a respect factor involved regardless). And for those wondering, "I was drunk" is not a valid excuse. If this excuse is used, said friend can then employ the "I was drunk" excuse when he's bashing your face in (even if he's not actually drunk).

3) Any girl that your friend has expressed more than a passing interest in. "Dude she's hot" and "I'd like to hit that" don't count. If your friend has actively tried to date a girl (even if said friend was rejected), she's off limits to you. If your friend has stated his intentions to try and date a girl, she immediately becomes off limits to you. Period.

As always, exceptions apply. If you receive explicit consent, any of these rules may be waived. "I didn't think you'd mind" is not a valid excuse. Respect, people. Respect.

Tune in again tomorrow. A pleasant day to you all.

The Guys' Code

2006-01-11T16:04:26Z

Those who know me know that I'm not one to bitch about problems.. I'm about solutions. In that spirit I will be posting rules from the guys' code. Many of these should go without saying, but if there's anything I've learned over the past year, it's to assume NOTHING.

Today's Lesson: Blood is Thicker than Water

This rule is the most obvious of them all (at least it should be). You don't date, hit on, or sleep with your friend's mother/sister/cousin. Of course there are exceptions to this rule. This is permissible ONLY under the following conditions:

A) You have explicit consent from said friend.
B) They are not blood relatives (and even in this situation, err on the side of caution..ask)

If you fail to follow this rule, you deserve anything you get (up to and including beatdowns).

Tune in again tomorrow for a new lesson. A pleasant day to you all.

qpsiphi1911 @ 2005-08-18T08:53:00

2005-08-18T13:54:48Z

There is truly no justice in this world.

qpsiphi1911 @ 2005-07-27T08:17:00

2005-07-27T13:17:47Z

HELL LEVEL 1
Raw score: 57%

You're a fallen angel. There's some innocence there, but the sexual dark side has called you and, possibly, is already using you. But, still, you're naughty, not evil; dirty, not filthy. You're certainly hellbound, and you'll most likely seek out other imps like yourself to work your wicked will. There might be a moral core inside you, but it's been overtaken by lust. Things weren't always this way, were they?

When you finally accepted your urges, did you find the nectar too sweet to go without? No? Isn't nectar on the salty side anyway? You know how it tastes. For now, you might just be nibbling on forbidden fruit, but you'll soon be swallowing it whole.

AVOID: the heavenbound. Your path is downward, and you'll need a guide.

My test tracked 1 variable How you compared to other people your age and gender:

You scored higher than 13% on hellish

Link: The Sexual HELL Test written by jason_bateman on Ok Cupid

qpsiphi1911 @ 2005-07-27T08:13:00

2005-07-27T13:14:16Z

the Idiot Savant

(43% dark, 52% spontaneous, 44% vulgar)

your humor style:
VULGAR | SPONTANEOUS | LIGHT

You like things silly, immediate, and, above all, outrageous. Ixne on the subtle word play, more testicles on fire, please. People like you are the most likely to RECEIVE internet forwards--and also the most likely to save them in a special folder entitled 'HOLY SHIT'.

Because it's so easily appreciated, and often a little physical, your sense of humor never ceases to amuse your friends. But most realize that there's a sly intelligence and a knowing wink to your tastes. Your sense of humor could be called 'anti-pretentious'--but ironically, that definitely indicates you're smarter than most.

PEOPLE LIKE YOU: Johnny Knoxville - Jimmy Kimmel

My test tracked 3 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:

You scored higher than 18% on dark

You scored higher than 81% on spontaneous

You scored higher than 75% on vulgar

Link: The 3 Variable Funny Test written by jason_bateman on Ok Cupid

qpsiphi1911 @ 2005-05-05T08:53:00

2005-05-05T13:53:58Z

Your Birthdate: October 2

Your birth on the 2nd day of the month adds a degree of emotion, sensitivity, and intuition to your life.

The 2 is a very social number allowing you to make friends easily and quickly.

Yet you are apt to have a rather nervous air in the company of a large group.

You have a warmhearted nature and emotional understanding that constantly seeks affection.

You are more prone than most to become depressed and moody, as emotions can turn inward and cause anxiety and mental turmoil.

It can be hard for you to bounce back to reality when depression sets in.

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?